We are beginning the paperwork to adopt a baby girl from Ethiopia! Right now we are finishing up our home study, so we're very early in the "paper chase" process. I'm anticipating that this entire adoption will take about three years to complete. The longest part of the wait will be waiting for a referral, which at this point is taking about 24 months. But after five years of waiting for Marisa, three years doesn't sound so bad. Besides, whether we get in line or not, three years is going to pass us by. So we might as well make the most of our time and gain a daughter in the process.
The longer version:
Over the years, Mike and I have discussed how many kids we wanted in our family. Somewhere along the way, we agreed on three. I started keeping an adoption journal in 2005 once we began the process to adopt Marisa. In looking through my entries, I found one in January of 2007 stating that we were in agreement on our family being comprised of two girls and one boy. By spring of 2008, we had chosen the name Cayleigh for our second daughter. (The details on her name I'll keep for another post.) At that point, we also chose the name Kieran for our son. From then on, I wrote in my journal to all three of them. So, once we finally met Marisa in Dec 2010, and Kieran had already been home for 19 months, we still felt strongly that our family had room for one more. We were in China finishing up Marisa's adoption. We sat in the hotel room listening to Third Day's song "Cry Out To Jesus". As the lyrics said, "...for the children around the world without a home say a prayer tonight..." I was cradling Marisa in my arms and began weeping as I thought about how many more children were orphans. I looked at Mike and said, "You know, this is not going to be our last adoption!"
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| Picture taken January 2011, shortly after we brought Marisa home from China. I've often thought this photo shows that there's room for one more child in our family. |
Fast forward 20 months later. We've spent that time since China pondering- are we really up for one more child? We've been praying- God, please show us the way. Mike and I have spent many hours discussing, while the kids were asleep, and admitting that neither one of us is sure that two kids is where we stop. Around and around we've gone for twenty months, but not sure what to do. I've researched adoption domestically, internationally, looked into agencies, pilot programs, and state department websites. Similar to all the searching we did to find Kieran & Marisa, we've just been waiting, looking, and praying for answers. Recently, I'd been feeling more ready to take on the daunting mountain of paperwork for another adoption. We've bonded with Marisa and found a balance with two kids that feels comfortable. More and more, I found myself feeling like I was getting closer to starting another adoption, but I needed clarity and a real desire that it was a God thing and not just a me thing.
On one of the hottest days of the year, we went to a picnic/reunion with other adoptive families. I had prayed in advance that God would give me some answers about our third adoption. The picnic was hot and miserable. I didn't want to be there, and didn't feel like God was sending me any answers. (In retrospect, I'm laughing at myself!) However, God did answer my prayers. I had also prayed that I would be a blessing to someone else who was beginning their adoption process. As it so happened, I met a lady named Amy who was just starting her paper chase for China. I was happy to talk to her and offered to answer any of her questions. As we sat chatting, my prayer to be a blessing to someone was answered. God gave me the words to say to her that were encouraging to her, and have now been encouraging me in our paper chase! I said to her: "The paper chase is hard. There will be lots of little delays and mishaps that will be overwhelming and frustrating. (Printer runs out of ink, photocopier breaks down, documents take forever to be mailed to you, etc...) However, God is in the delays. HE places the lonely into families and HE is causing the delays so that you will be in the exact place at the exact time to be matched with the child He has for your family." While Amy & I were chatting, I looked up and saw a little Ethiopian girl. She captured my heart! I said to God, "If it takes two trips to bring home a beauty like her, then I would totally do it!" (Quick back story, Mike and I have been very adamant that we only wanted a one trip process to bring home a child. That has been a prerequisite since 2001 when we first started researching adoption!) Wow, to have God break down my resistance to a two trip process in the blink of an eye was incredible to me! Needless to say, Mike and I had a long conversation on the way home that day, and the next two days after that. He had also been captivated by that little Ethiopian girl. God was stirring our hearts.
After pondering, praying, and discussing all weekend, Mike brought up the conversation again. "What do you think?" Was all he said. I knew exactly what he was talking about. Then he told me, "I feel like Cayleigh is out there and we need to go get her." My response was, "I'm with you heart and soul! Let's do this!" So, I called our social worker. We set up a home study time for the following week. Meanwhile, I applied to AWAA's Ethiopia program. Then I spent a week staying up till midnight and one a.m. doing paperwork! Yesterday we got approved by AWAA to begin the process. Today we had a home study visit...the ball is rolling! Now that we've made a decision, things are moving along quickly. It seems so sudden, but honestly little Cayleigh has been in our hearts for a very long time. I feel happy, a calm delight about pursuing a third child. God is good and I feel His hand upon us as we begin this journey. Kieran is overjoyed about the idea of having a new sibling, and he's very pleased that she will be African like him. Marisa doesn't really grasp the concept, but when I explained it to her she said, "I will share my dolly with her!" My goodness, that just about melted my heart. Her comment and Kieran's enthusiasm has been a huge boost to me as I muddle through the mounds of forms that need to be printed and filled out. Interestingly, Mike has been scheduled for three shifts of unexpected overtime at work. God is sending the funds at just the right time. It's been a happy beginning to the journey to Cayleigh.
